Updated: Dec 13, 2020
Wendy Tucker, MA, CMHC, CSAYC
“Oh no,” I said, “that’ll never be me! I will never let a man put his hands on me.” But, the arguments got intense; it started with a push and it ended with his fist. ￼ I used make-up and lies to cover the black eyes: “I tripped and fell down the stairs and ran into￼ the wall.” But stares and looks knew that wasn’t the truth at all. I wanted to scream and tell, but I wasn’t ready to leave.
You see, my heart loved him even more than I cared about when he made my lip bleed￼. I’m in too deep, I don’t know how to get out. I isolated myself from my family and my friends, “well, we never hang out!”
Do I try to break free and leave, knowing he will say sorry and be back to loving me? This is the cycle of abuse and it has became my life. I feel alone and unheard, wishing I could be free from this twisted and dysfunctional love. I’ll cry out to Jesus asking him to fix this, but the more things seem to change, they really stayed the same. I know what needs to change, it is me! I have to fight to find my inner beauty. I have to fight to find my worth. I have to fight to love myself again........ and not be dependent on a bruised and broken man. You see his scars are from the inside out. Life beat him up from the womb and hurt people, hurt people, that’s what I’ve been told! BUT NOW, it’s time to change the narrative and ask JESUS TO MAKE US WHOLE! We need Jesus to heal and restore, we need Jesus to fix what appears unfix-able, that includes the man within who Jesus predestined to win! I pray my poems doesn’t offend, but it’s time to uncover the truth so the healing can begin!! If you or someone you know needs help please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.7233 or text LOVEIS to 1.866.331.9474.